Evelyn's bow is from Loved by Sophia Claire & her onsie is from Jean & June

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I panicked about how to find a balance between the "family life" I wanted my child to have and the business that had become my other "baby". For years, I had put my all into my company but I knew that things were going to have to change. I figured I would work to create a balance and we would all live happily ever after.

Looking back on it, I was pretty naive about the whole thing. There is a reason there are a million books, TV specials, podcasts, and a bazillion other blog posts dedicated to women trying to find a balance. For me, at this point in our journey, I've decided there is no balance. It's awful to hear that I'm sure, but realizing that there was no "balanced life" to chase anymore has been incredibly freeing to me. 

I've realized that the days of going to bed at midnight aren't even close to being over. Even though Evelyn has slept through most nights from 12 weeks, my work is what keeps us up till the wee hours in the morning. And that's not going to change anytime soon. Just like Evelyn's 7AM wake up call in the morning. 

There are going to be some days where I'm going to be a better mom than a business woman, just like there are going to be days where I'm a kick-ass business woman and a minimally patient mom. But what I have decided, is that I will be intentional about my time. 

When I am with my daughter, I will be dedicated to making that time "quality time" with her. I won't be checking my cell phone while she's distracted, I won't be answering emails while she eats her lunch. I will be there to soak it all up and let her know that for that moment, I am all hers. 

Unfortunately, there are times where I can't be that. It's sucky to write that and I wish I could always be there. But I have also realized that by pursuing my dreams and showing her what determination and dedication looks like, it's beneficial for her too. Even though, let's be real, it won't always feel like that. But, just like I said earlier, I am going be intentional with my time in my business as well. I am working to become more streamline, more efficient and more organized. I am also limiting the amount of projects I take on that don't directly impact my business positively. 

My time has always been valuable but now that I have Evelyn, where every day, hour, minute seems like she's growing in front of my eyes, it's invaluable. I want to be a good mother but I can't kill myself trying to be a perfect mom and a perfect business woman 24 hours a day because I won't do well at either if I try that.

If you are a business owner and momma, how are you handling the "balance". Anyone have any tips? 

Photo by Adrian Jon Photography

It's been awhile huh? It's also been pretty crazy. In the last year, we've moved into a new project house and had a baby. You know, a couple of small changes. To say we over estimated our abilities to juggle, is a complete understatement.

Parenthood is hard guys. Especially when you have a business, or at least it is in my case. However, after a year of our new normal, we think we are finally getting the hang of things. So since we had a bit of an update, we thought it was time for a bit of an upgrade.

We have some new things that are quite obvious, such as the new look and the new website. We also have some new things that will slowly roll out. So we hope you guys stick around, cause it is going to be pretty fun. Plus, it's always fun around a toddler, right?

If you missed the first part of this story, you can find it here.

Since it was decided that I needed to deliver Evelyn but I wasn’t yet in active labor, I was going to have to be induced. Definitely not what I had pictured. I was hoping to be at home for my labor as long as possible. That wasn’t going to happen but it didn’t even matter at this point. All that mattered was Evelyn and her health.

However, unlike a lot of induction birth stories, this won’t be a long story because it wasn’t a long ordeal. It was actually super fast, much to everyone’s surprise!

By the time they got me into a room and set me up, it was around 6:30PM but at that point, I had to wait for the doctor to place an order for me and for it to be filled. This was the most frustrating part of my entire labor.

They started with a foley around 10 PM and said it could take up to 12 hours for that to work. I opted to take a sleeping pill (safe for baby) and wait it out. Those last few weeks of pregnancy are practically torture when it comes to sleep. I had not slept a full night for at least 3 weeks at this point. Well, after only 6 hours, I was dilated enough to start pitocin. Around 6AM they broke my water, which there wasn’t much of, and started the pitocin drip. They told me it could be another 12 hours of the pitocin to get me to active labor so we decided to just sleep as much as possible.

Now I was always open to letting my labor play out however it was going to go. I wanted to try to see if I could go natural but I was totally ready to ask for pain meds. After about 1.5 hours of serious contractions, I went ahead and asked for an epidural. The pitocin was on the lowest setting but after only about 4 hours of it, my body completely took over and went into labor itself and I was able to stop the pitocin around 10AM and my natural labor took over.

Based on how I was dilating at this point, they told me it would probably be around 9PM for me to start to push. We told family and friends not to rush over there and that we were settled in for the long haul.

Literally 2.5 hours later, I woke up from a nap and told Drew I felt pressure. He asked if I wanted him to get a nurse but I said “no way, they said it wouldn’t be till later.” Luckily, he didn’t listen to me because as soon as a nurse came in, she was like “oh my, the baby is right there. Hold on, everyone’s on lunch. We gotta get a midwife back in here!”

Okay, I’ll just stay here lady…

We waited a little bit and they prepped me. I started to push and only ended up pushing for 15/20 minutes. They kept asking if I wanted to feel her head…nope. No thanks. Did I want a mirror to see…nope. I’m good. But then they asked me if I wanted to reach down and pull her out onto my chest. I am NOT the person that would say yes to this…but I did. I was so anxious. I didn’t even say yes actually, I just grabbed her and brought her up to my chest.

Feeling her precious body on mine, and wrapping my arms around her tiny soul is something I will never forget. She didn’t cry at first, she just looked at me. She seriously looked at me like she had been waiting this whole time to see me, the way I had waited this whole time to meet her. They say love at first sight exists, and it does. I saw her and felt every single fiber in my body realize the entire and only reason for our existence. It was to be Evelyn’s mommy. I stared at my beautiful daughter and she just started at me. At this incredibly tender moment, the only thing I could manage to say was “hi baby, I love you so much”. It was so basic, but that was all it needed to be. I have to be honest here and say that I had been more than just worried about my motherly instincts and if I was going to be able to be the mom this baby needed me to be during my pregnancy. Drew was always so reassuring and just kept telling me how great of a mom I would be. But I was still worried. But seeing that babe, every single shred of insecurity melted away. I knew that my life would be spent doing whatever I could do to ensure that my daughter had a great life. There is no way to accurately describe how the first look into your child’s eyes, changes you.

They started to rub her down while she was on my chest and that made her cry. I was trying to shush her when I remembered something I had seen. Drew read stories to my belly every single night, he sang his favorite oldie songs, he talked to her about his favorite cars and planes. I looked at Drew, who at this point was just ear to ear smiling, but I could tell he was unsure of what to do. I told him “talk to her babe.” Drew got down to her, she was wailing at this point, and said her name. “Evelyn.” As precious of a moment as I just had with her, I watched my husband have that moment with his daughter. She instantly stopped crying and just looked at him. I could see this man change. I saw everything about him change and become a daddy.

We got our golden hour, which was more like 2 hours. We just took it all in as we minute by minute became more of a family. I still can’t believe it all happened. Looking at her, Drew and I could only keep talking about how perfect she was and how we can’t believe she was finally here. It’s been four months and we are still constantly saying “I can’t believe she’s ours” and “I can’t believe how perfect she is”. It is amazing that two incredibly imperfect people, could make something so perfect.

My recovery was fairly easy thankfully! My only problem was that I got a “wet tap” on my epidural. Basically, the anesthesiologist leaked some of my spinal fluid and so my brain sat on my skull. It was actually pretty brutal. And there is nothing you can do to fix it except a blood patch occasionally will help, but it didn’t work in my case. It’s been four months and I still get those spinal headaches from time to time but those first couple weeks were a doozy and I had to stay two extra nights at the hospital.

So that’s it. That’s my story. Overall, I had a really rough pregnancy but I feel like things evened out because I had such an easy delivery once it was time. It was not at all how I pictured it but I am just so grateful my daughter is here and healthy. I wouldn’t want it any other way.