How are we doing?
That was a question that we’ve dodged for a long time, basically for four years. If you aren’t aware, our house burned down almost four years ago this September. It was one of the most important events of our lives because it changed everything in an hour. Our life was completely turned upside down and we were frankly terrified.
Drew and I are, to a fault, overly optimistic people. We live to help others and we were never comfortable with letting others help us. The physical and mental toll was bigger than we ever wanted to let on to our friends and family. We held a lot of our struggles in and kept to ourselves. People would ask us “how are you guys doing?” and we used our stock “We’re doing fine, just so grateful no one got hurt” answer. Part of that was true too. We are so grateful that no one got physically hurt, but we were hurt. We were dealing with the pain of loosing 90% of our belongings, our home, our lives, and we were also dealing with PTSD.
Right after the fire, we did go to therapy to handle all of the stress, anxiety, and depression that came along with loosing most of what we owned during an very scary experience. It definitely helped and I’m grateful we made that decision to go, but the biggest healer was always going to be time.
We have made progress, we are healing and we are taking our time doing it. There are some things we are not ready to talk about, they are just triggers for us. We are grateful to everyone who is understanding of that and respects that. However, we kept everything bottled up for so long, that I haven’t felt like “myself” for awhile and after some soul searching, I’ve realized it was because I’ve locked off this huge aspect of my life and therefore a huge part of myself. So in an effort to move forward, feel more comfortable with myself, and show you the real side of the pretty Instagram feeds…I’m talking about this not so pretty aspect of my life.
I’m so grateful to the few family members and close friends who were aware of our struggles and regularly checked in on us. Even the small inquiries meant so much to Drew and I, they definitely helped us knowing that someone was thinking of us.
Lastly, I have to thank Drew. The night of the fire, our lives changed drastically. I feel like most marriages either crumble under all of the stress and devastation or they become stronger and more resilient. I’m blessed that we held on to each other, we prayed together, and through that our love grew. Though I never wanted to be in this position, I’m beyond grateful that I had Drew standing by my side through it all.
So, how are we doing?
We are doing okay! Four years is a long time, and we have been blessed in so many ways. Including our daughter who came into our lives 2 years ago. It’s a process and there are some days where it’s just heavier than other days. Luckily, they are fewer and farther in between. But there is always a bit of a gut wrench when we see photos of our old house, pictures of us in some of our favorite clothes or some of our favorite possessions that we lost, or when we go to reach for a tool that we’ve forgotten we no longer have. They are things, and replaceable. Absolutely! We realize how blessed we are that we are all okay and no one was hurt! Thank God! Please do not misunderstand that! However, the reality of the situation is occasionally we miss our old life and we struggle with all the emotions with that.
It’s all a process and we are doing our best to move forward. I plan to talk more about what the process looked like, the lessons we’ve learned, and the positives of the whole situation. This was a beginning, putting it out there and updating everyone with “how we are doing”.
But thanks for asking!