Photography by Savan Photography

When I first started Delovely Details, it was my business. It started out as a hobby but quickly grew. As it grew, it no longer was my business, but also Drew’s. Drew is 100% my partner in this. I would not be able to do any of this without him. While he also has a regular day job, he spends a lot of his nights and weekends helping me manage everything. The impact our business has had on our marriage has been a surprise in many ways.

1. Communication

Drew and I have always been great at communicating with each other. I’m sure sometimes he’d agree that maybe I communicate “too well”. However, I find that it’s been a big strength in not just our marriage, but also in working together professionally. Most business owners will say, “time is money” and so we try not to spend a lot of time beating around the bush. We can be very direct with each other. It can be hard to hear, and even harder to leave it at the door when we are home sometimes. Whether it be a problem with a design, how to handle a customer, accounting; we both are always more interested in solving the problem than exacerbating it with complicated dialogue.

2. Compromise

We both are big idea, creative, and passionate people; which can make compromising extremely hard if I am being honest. This is something we both regularly have to check ourselves with and something we both can probably get a little better at. One thing that has helped us is to have our main goals (for business and home life) clear and sometimes even visible. That way, when we are struggling to make compromises, we can look at our main goal and revert back to it to see if our compromise will help direct us to that main goal. If we have goals for our family, goals for the business, and goals for our marriage, it can help us make the RIGHT choices (most of the time anyways). The more we’ve compromised with the business side of things, the easier I find compromise is on the family side.

3. Partnership

I’ve been with Drew since 2001. We’ve known each other since we were basically kids. We’ve been each other’s support systems, cheerleaders, and back up for quite a bit of time now. When I started this business, it was mine. However, because Drew is my biggest support, it wasn’t long before he jumped in to help me. It was just his nature to do so. With that, I have a trusted partner in my business. I trust that he will do what is in the best interest for my company and therefore our family. I also respect him and he respects me. This makes delegating work very easy. It’s also great for our marriage in that the business only helps us further trust in each other.

4. Work-Life Balance

We struggle with this big time. It’s one of the biggest downsides that our business has been for our marriage. Even though we regularly make goals of changing it, somehow it never seems to happen. We both work 24/7. When we take date nights, we usually end up talking about the business. It’s really hard to completely turn off work when your spouse and you are both working for the same company. I can’t remember the last time we didn’t look at our emails for an entire weekend. We’ve never shut down our shop for a holiday or vacation. This is not ideal or healthy and we are constantly fighting off burnout mode. Having weekends be work-free is a dream of ours though, and while it sometimes seems impossible, we are both constantly working towards that goal. I am grateful however, that if I am going to be working on a Saturday, at least it is with my husband and my daughter can be with us both still.

5.  Disagreements

We are far from the perfect couple or business partners. We disagree, we argue, we can even hold grudges. However, sometimes if we have a fight about family life, it doesn’t mean that the business doesn’t have a deadline the next day. Or sometimes, we will disagree over a business matter, and then we have to go to dinner with each other’s families. So while we may want space from each other, it’s usually impossible and that can be frustrating. We’ve learned to compartmentalize a lot of our issues to get through commitments and then we find time to discuss them and work through them. I think at the end of the day, most times, we both understand that our disagreements are usually a small pebble in our journey and not worth more energy than necessary. We both also respect each other’s feelings if we just can’t get past things and might need to just be frustrated for a little bit.

Photography by Savan Photography

 This is how Delovely Details has impacted our marriage, it isn’t all good and it isn’t all bad. For better or for worse though, I think we would still choose this road. It has been far more fulfilling than not and we both feel that the business has overall strengthened our marriage. Is owning a business within a marriage for everyone? No. I’m actually quite surprised how well our marriage has adapted to it. Like most things that impact a marriage, if you’ve built your marriage on a strong foundation, it’s usually capable of weathering any storm. Our marriage is built of faith, love, trust, and empathy. So far, we’ve gotten through every storm we’ve had come our way. And believe me when I say, we’ve had our share!

ad·vent /ˈadˌvent/ noun

1. the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event.

   • the first season of the Christian church year, leading up to Christmas and including the four preceding Sundays.

With the holidays looming around the corner, I’ve really been thinking of traditions for us to start with Evelyn. Between Drew and I, our families are stock piled with traditions. All of which we love, but we aren’t sure if they are all ones that we want to continue with Evelyn. So which ones stay, which ones go, and what traditions do we start on our own? We aren’t big “Elf of the Shelf” people so we had to sit down and talk about this.

The advent season is very important to our family. On my side, we always had paper chains that we made to start the countdown to Christmas. In Drew’s family, they would always get their chocolate advent calendars. Actually, my mother-in-law still gets us chocolate advent calendars every year from Trader Joe’s.

When pondering about how we were going to celebrate the season of advent with our toddler, we wanted to keep it fun, festive, creative, and spiritual. I am absolutely dedicated to her understanding the “reason for the season”, but I realize it’s also a time for family and fun. It’s okay to get excited about Santa, presents, and food as long as we remember why we get to do all of those things.

Christmas Pajamas

One tradition we are tweaking is my parent’s tradition to give us new pajamas on Christmas Eve. I love getting our new pajamas on Christmas Eve, it was the one present we got to open the night before and it was just fun! However, as a mom now, I wonder why we would want to wait to give Evelyn Christmas Themed pajamas to wear on the last night of the season. So we are going to start our Christmas pajama wearing season on Thanksgiving night! We decorate our house the day after Thanksgiving (no thanks Black Friday, I’m not brave enough!), so it just makes sense for our family to kick of the season of advent by wearing our Christmas Pajamas. Maybe as she gets older and is no longer wearing Christmas themed PJs (teenagers probably won’t be interested in wearing Santa pajamas), we can switch back to Christmas Eve.

Paper Chains Craft

I also loved making paper chains as a kid. We did them for trips, holidays, back to school, everything! With a toddler like Evelyn, constantly needing to be kept busy these days, I think this is a perfect tradition (until she’s over it) to keep her occupied while Thanksgiving dinner is being prepared. Then every morning, she can look forward to tearing a chain off. Plus it’s fairly mess free and easily transportable. She can do this with her other cousins and create memories of being creative and spending time with her family where ever we end up on Turkey Day.

Advent Calendar - Toddler Approved

We really want her to get into the love we have for chocolate advent calendars. Drew and I get stupid giddy about opening up our piece of chocolate in the morning. Unfortunately, so far anyways, Evelyn has shown NO INTEREST in sweets. We can get her to have a bite of yogurt or ice cream occasionally but we can’t get her to try anything else. So she’s not quite ready for a chocolate advent calendar. Luckily, a quick search on google showed me THE BEST advent calendar for a toddler ever!!!!! Behold, the Little People Advent Calendar! Evelyn is going to go nuts for this. I am a little nervous at trying to get her to understand that she can only open 1 door a day, but I’m sure we will manage. This is so stinkin’ perfect and fun! It’s going to be her first introduction to the Little People world. I’m sure by next year, Evelyn will be ready to enjoy a regular chocolate advent calendar like Drew and I but until then, this will fill in perfectly! P.S. If you want one, they are on Amazon right now and I’d order it ASAP. I saw them on eBay for $80 bucks or more!

Spiritual Advent - The Giving Manger

Lastly, the most important part of advent, is to remember that we are celebrating this day because of Jesus. I got The Giving Manger before I was even pregnant. This book, baby Jesus, wooden manger, and straw helps families focus on the servitude of Christmas. To teach your children compassion, gratitude, empathy, and discipleship. It can start off easy, putting a piece of straw in the manger cause you listened to mommy the first time. As your family grows older, putting a piece of straw in for bringing in the trashcans, helping a neighbor, or volunteer work together. I’m so excited to see Evelyn participate in this part of advent every year. This girl already has such a big heart, I know she’s going to love it. If you want to order one for your family, do it soon! They are already sold out of half their inventory this season so don’t wait!

Watching life through Evelyn’s eyes has turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Things that I forgot were truly exciting (yes, even bubbles) look totally different now that I see them through Evelyn’s amazement. While I am excited to see her reaction to all of these new traditions and experiences, I hope she grasps the true meaning of this time of year. The meaning of faithfulness, family togetherness, and gratitude.

What traditions are you starting with your toddler for the advent season?

This post contains some affiliated links, however I wouldn’t recommend anything I don’t already love!

I have been so excited about holidays now that Evelyn is a little older. To be honest, I am not a fan of the typical holiday season (Halloween - Christmas). Plus, my dad passed around Christmas. I do love all the holidays other holidays (New Years Eve - Fourth of July). They are just less stressful. No months of prep and making huge plans, no excess travel among the masses, etc. However, this year, the idea of seeing these holidays through Evelyn’s eyes has me more excited for them than I usually am.

I think most moms want traditions for their children. I remember the same reindeer bean bag dolls coming out every year at Christmas time, the same Frankenstein paper decor at Halloween, and of course, the fan turkey centerpiece at Thanksgiving. I don’t remember when I stopped caring about those decorations, but I do remember them every year and I want that for Evelyn.

This is a great “test run” year for us. She’s much more aware of things but if we try some things that don’t work out, she won’t remember next year.

One tradition I’d love to start with her is a visit to the Irvine Regional Park Pumpkin Patch. I actually have taken her a few times since it’s free and it keeps her entertained. While I love this pumpkin patch, I don’t love the crowds it creates as we get closer to Halloween. I highly recommend checking this place out in early October. You can go to the pumpkin patch, ride the train and visit the OC Zoo for a few more dollars. It’s a full day and its inexpensive, unless you buy all your pumpkins there. We hit up Trader Joe’s on the way home. Next year Evelyn will be able to play more of the games and enjoy the animals a little more.

The next event we did, that will for sure become a Halloween tradition for us, was visit the City of Orange’s Treats in the Street event. We don’t live in Orange, but this event made me want to move there. First, it was free which is crazy to me. Irvine had an event at the Great Park that we paid $5 for and it was such a waste of time that I won’t even bother writing about it and we took a few awful photos and that was it. This event in Orange was just awesome. We got there right at 4PM and parking was already getting busy. After about an hour of Trick or Treating at the local stores, Evelyn had the whole concept figured out. She had a good stash and so we grabbed some dinner. When we got out of the restaurant, it was packed and almost every store had a line to get some candy. So we decided to just check out some of the booths and watch some of the shows and let Evelyn do what Evelyn does best, draw a crowd.

I love how quickly this kid caught onto, “go to a stranger and take some candy.” We did practice at the house beforehand and I told her she had to knock on the door. So regardless of where the person who was actually handing out candy was sitting/standing…Evelyn would walk up to the door and knock and then go grab candy. We let her try to eat a few pieces of candy but she wanted no part of it. No clue where she gets that self control.

I can’t say enough of the Treats in the Streets though. It was a great experience for us, who are unfamiliar with the area. I definitely see us heading back there to shop those stores, grab a bite to eat and celebrate other community events there.

If you can’t tell, she is a Witch this Halloween. However, so far she has given the hat a hard “NO”.

Watching Evelyn learn how to Trick or Treat, watching her reaction to seeing other people in costumes (ask me about what she did when she saw another little girl dressed as Elmo), seeing her face explore the decorations on some local haunted houses, and her and her daddy carving her own pumpkin has been way more special than I anticipated. I am very wary but I’m starting to have some hope for the rest of the holidays.

I can’t wait to see how she does on the actual Halloween night. We are going to let her stay up a little late and answer the door for a few trick-or-treaters. My guess is that will be her favorite part.

Evelyn’s Pajamas are from Carters available at Amazon.

Her Halloween tote is from Little Partridge on Etsy. (She’s currently closed but maybe email her and ask pretty please!)

This post contains some affiliated links, however I wouldn’t recommend anything I don’t feel I don’t already love!